No, but a wedding ceremony is a bit of a show, sometimes even too much so.

Think of it as the Golden Globe Awards: the wedding minister is the MC and you get the BIG PRIZE! Yes, you've been good, and now it's time to celebrate!

Also, the people around you are happy to see you happy, so the MC can invite a few of them to read or sing or say something to you, as a gift. The reading or song needs not have a special secret meaning, it can simply be something they hope you will like. Further, while in Hollywood movies only the bride's father gets something to do (to give her away) - all parents can have a role in the wedding - after all worked hard to raise you, all deserve some recognition and they are all really proud to have such wonderful kids such as yourself and your chosen dearest sweet beloved, right?

So let them participate... they've been waiting for this moment for oh, so long...

So, indulge me please and follow this wedding ceremony outline, and consider the actors involved and who might they be in your wedding:

1. Minister comes in, introduces him/herself and invites folks to turn cell phones off :)

2. Play song #1 (wedding ceremony prelude)

3. Groom enters with his mom and dad on his arms; they bring him to minister, groom's parents hug & kiss the groom, wish him the best and then they have a seat.

4. Groomsmen and bridesmaids enter as well going, typically, men to the right (left of minister) and women to the left (right of minister); flower girls and ring bearers if any.

5. Play song #2 (wedding processional - Here comes the bride); minister asks crowd to stand up for the bride.

6. The bride comes in also accompanied by both her parents; as they get to the front, both bride's parents hug and kiss the bride (gently on the cheeks) and then hug / shake hands with groom; and then they seat themselves.

7. Thinking out of the box wedding seating tip: tell your parents to sit of the "wrong" side, that is groom's parents on the left side of the audience - as they groom is on the right. Silly old rules aside, they will get a much better view of the face of their child's face. Same goes for the bride's parents.

8. Minister will then prompt bride and groom to face each other in front of the minister, so that the minister can see their profiles and so can the audience - this is way better for everyone: audience, photographer and even bride and groom as they get to exchange glances with friends and family. 

Traditionally, they used to face the minister (with their backs towards the audience). That was done probably because they had to face the church altar or simply because they never had a process analyst analyze and optimize the bridal party positioning.

9. Minister thanks the audience and invites them to have a seat. Gives an introduction - this can be typical or can include some information about yourselves! If you keep it short and a little fun it will be great, otherwise, have coffee ready to help folks stay away.

10. Next the minister can introduce "bride's dear friend X" or "groom's uncle Y" who has a special gift for the couple: a song / poem / prayer / etc.

11. Continue with questions of intent, some activity such as unity candle or giving something (hugs/thanks) to parents, then exchanging of vows, maybe one more reading / song / prayer / blessing and the introduction of the couple with the kiss. This gives 2-3 opportunities for various people to read, sing, pray, recite poems or plan an instrument as part of the ceremony. Sure, you can have the minister do it all, but getting your people to do or say something for you at your wedding is way more interesting.

Whatever you choose to do, just don't overdo it. One or two activities and actors is plenty. You do not want people yawning...

I hope this helps you visualize your ceremony, and imagine how much more personal it is to have someone near and dear to you do or say something at your wedding. That's what I mean by "actors". Now realize that many people are shy, so you'll have to ask them as a favor: "John, would you please consider reading something at our wedding? It would mean a lot to us!" Better yet, ask "John, would you please consider reading *this* at our wedding?" so you know exactly what will be said, and avoid strange messages, or way too long ones...

 

Our interactive wedding script builder contains many readings to get you started thinking about this.

Think about it! Live happily ever after!

 

 

the Rev

I hope this helps you visualize your ceremony, and imagine how much more personal it is to have someone near and dear to you do or say something at your wedding. That's what I mean by "actors". Now realize that many people are shy, so you'll have to ask them as a favor: "John, would you please consider reading something at our wedding? It would mean a lot to us!" Better yet, ask "John, would you please consider reading *this* at our wedding?" so you know exactly what will be said, and avoid strange messages, or way too long ones...

Our interactive wedding script builder contains many readings to get you started thinking about this.

Think about it! Live happily ever after!

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